Sunday, April 19, 2009

The power of Elmo underpants

Hi there,

As some of you questioned my "free minute" to send an email, I felt compelled to explain. At the time, Addie was asleep in her mini-tent and I was dutifully ignoring Lorelei's crying.

I figure there's no time like the present to learn that she has a bad mother . . .

Actually, poor little thing has severe gas bubbles that make her cry for long painful (for all of us) stretches of time, so in the interest of my sanity, I thought it best to take a moment out.

In an effort to stop the crying binges (hers, not mine), I have taken myself off dairy products. I am on day one, and am now frightfully aware of how many dairy products I consume in a day.

Jeff was supposed to help me remember what to eat and not eat, but so far he just succeeded in making me two lunches with cheese.

Now that I am no longer pregnant, and have two little ducklings to attend to, I can no longer indulge in my favorite pass-time of napping. But never fear, I have now taken up power eating.

Since I am nursing (for now, but that's a different subject all together), I find myself practically starving nearly every hour. Thus pre-breakfast and pre-lunch have been introduced - smaller, quicker meals that can be consumed while real breakfast and lunch are being prepared. I have also discovered the joys of having a toddler who doesn't know how to count or keep a close eye on her Easter basket haul.

Before #2 came along, Jeff and I had harbored fantasies that Addie would be a wonderfully adoring, gentle older sister.

Considering her reputation with Bubbles, I can only assume we were having sleep-deprived delusions.

Although she is vocally a supportive loving sister, she is a little aggressive, and I find myself having to say things like, "don't sit on your sisters head" and "don't smother her with the blanket."

Shel Silverstein's poems One Sister for Sale and Someone Ate the Baby often come to mind.

Now that Addie has a sister to pick on, I also would have thought that she might leave the kitty alone (that, and Bubbles is now spending EVERY night at the neighbors and only comes to our house to eat and when they are out of town), but no. The other day, I actually heard myself say, "Addie, don't lick the cat!"

Clearly I have been living in a fantasy world.

Most of you have heard the gory details of my labor and delivery, but I want to take this moment to re-emphasize that those of you who willingly had drug-free deliveries are insane.

While at the hospital, we learned some colorful terms from the nurses.
1) Baby Low Jack System - that's the ankle security bracelet they slap on the newborn so he or she does not walk away. But I am left wondering if there will be any long-term ill effects that might involve house-arrest and ankle bracelets in the future . . .

2) She has a suck like a Hoover - No joke, this is actually what one of the nurses said to me, about Lorelei upon our first nursing effort. It could have had something to do with the fact that she very nearly sucked the nail polish right off her finger, but I'm not sure.

Just in case any of you were wondering what kind of food they serve in a North Carolina hospitals (that's right, we moved ALL the way across the country to South Carolina, and our child was born in North Carolina), they do in fact serve grits and sweet tea as standard fair. Sadly they were plain grits, which taste nearly like soggy cardboard.

While at a Babys R Us before #2 came along, I discovered a whole quarter machine (you know, the ones normally reserved for gum balls and candy) filled with glow-in-the-dark crosses. They were kind of like those necklaces and bracelets that you "brake" to activate, only they were small crosses. They weren't even necklaces as far as I could tell.
Outside of some mid-night proselytizing, I can't imagine what they would be used for (okay, I can imagine, and it's something along the lines of Children of the Corn and scaring the hell out of your neighbors).

I just can't believe there is a market big enough for such things that there would be an entire (and it wasn't a small one) quarter machine devoted to them. Actually, that was only a minor thing in comparison to what they sell at Hobby Lobby for Easter.

Who wants a Jesus Loves You paddle ball in their next Easter basket?

I'm afraid there hasn't been a whole lot happening locally to report in the news, but I'm sure you'll all be as pleased as I was to know that Bake Sales have their own column on the Community Events page.

Take Care,

1 comment:

Erin said...

Little Lorelei is a doll! I've always loved that name. Hope you're well. I love coming to read your updates.